"Choosing a slot machine is like buying a pig in a poke."

"In Vegas, you have a better chance of finding a loose woman, than you do of finding a loose slot machine."

"It's stupid an embarrassing to talk to a slot machine as if it could actually hear me. I'd stop doing it, but I don't want to make it so angry that it won't give me a win."

"All slot machines play the same in the dark."

"Do casinos really need that many different slot machines? Wouldn't just 2,000 copies of the same machine accomplish the same thing...namely financially destroying the player."

"Like the sirens in Greek mythology that lured mariners to their destruction, the slot machines call out to me as I walk by."

"Some slot players guard their machines so zealously, that I fully expect to see some day, a player urinate on the side of one mark to mark their territory."

"I lost so much money, that I had to go the hospital, after suffering third-degree burns while playing Blazing Sevens and White Hot Aces."

"Everyone plays the slot machines computer perfect."

"A brain, and a bankroll, is a terrible thing to waste...on a slot machine."

Good Luck,
Terrence "VP Pappy" Murphy (Google VP Pappy)