Do Welsh boys play fruit machines ?

[kidgloves]

No, Scousers do apparently.
At least that was my experience in a recent trip to the north coast of Wales.
The wife had booked a b+b a some weeks back for the 2nd week of the Easter break so of we jolly well trotted, Leicester to Llandudno which took 4 FUCKING HOURS. Why ? Because the brand new bastard sat nav is a twatty ****. I don't remember anywhere in the setup procedure ever selecting "take any country lane where available and avoid dual carraigeways and motorways at all costs" but that's what the fucker seemed to do.
We eventually arrived mid afternoon and the sun was shining. It was my first ever trip to Wales and I was encouraged by the lack of passport control and Euro's because I'm thick you see. I might have even enquired into a Welsh translation book prior to departure before the wife took the piss big time, but it was encouraging to see English signs and actually understand people.
For the record, I have to state now that we never, ever over the length of our stay heard one solitary Welsh accent, never mind the beautiful language itself. The whole place had been taken over by bucket loads of Liverpudlians. Can they swim over or what ? Anyway, let's get this story on topic and proceed to the fruit machine antics.
After dumping the baggage at the b+b (run by our fine Scouse friend from over the water), it was with mild trepidation that as I walked with the wife into Llandudno looking for signs of arcades and banners pointing to the seafront saying "Golden Games buzzing their tits off this way". I heaved a sigh of relief as I peered into one pub and saw the flashing swirly lights in the corner, there was some hope after all that the Welsh had embraced AWP gambling into their hearts.
In retrospect, Llandudno wasn't really the place to go for a gamble, the place seemed to consist of just 3 arcades, 1 on the pier and two with very drab frontages on the high streets obviously under strict control by the council not to light up like fireworks and keep with the 'noble' quality of the other builidings, as it has to be said that Llandudno is a pretty place, mainly unscathed by the onset of tourism.
We ventured into one of the high street arcades and I cased the joint for any possible machines to try. Casino section was at the back and there wasn't a lot in it, couple of Magic 7's which I'm a sucker for, by and large these were kind over the course of the holiday, a fair few hit and runs where £10 or so yielded £30-£45 back. If I had been playing poker in a similar vein, I'd have been kneecapped by the back door. The players were easily spottable, one even tutting and moaning to his mate when I chanced upon a £30 X win for a £3 stake. They were involved with a S16 Cashino and had £240 odd in the bank. Thought I'd chance my arm at a little more winding up and played the machine next to them. Lucky me, 3 Leprechauns for my £10 stake gave up £40. Marie (other half) loves playing these features out, convinced that it's going to pay big, but happy enough we moved on.
Moved onto the pier later, they had a sit down Monopoly that was full on all units so obviously a refill. I like playing these more than most variants, as the game is a little more interesting. Usual £40 odd in for flash holds and then the £25 to finish off the game, no bonus jackpots or whistles. Also in there was a Jackpoteers and a Big Brother which I played more for old times sake, neither were flying, most excitement was getting £15 off money multiplier off the inner board on the Jackpoteers. S16's were doing brisk business here.
Getting into the evening now and we started hitting the pubs. They were funny places some of them, resembling peoples front rooms and hotel bars for the most part. Not much to play really, a Pink Panther which feigned being buzzed by giving red stripes off the first hold, but then costing £70 for a full SSS setup and not being full even after that. Flat £25 off red Mega and I feared the worst that the SSS would not return, but it did. Not even a red hi/lo cash after that so lost there.
Wandered into another pub with 3 people in it, no fruit machine but a rather curious quiz machine in the corner with the emblem "Fatbox" on the cabinet, was this a parallel universe or what ? Couldn't even play that as the screen was actually on the Windows XP Home screen saver. It's clear that even the computers get bored here.
The best find was actually a Wetherspoons that we completely missed on our walk first time around, reason being that it's actually the old theatre, so as you look around inside, the seating tiers are still there. J.D.W's love buying up these kind of places don't they? Kind of sad to see what it had become, but better than rotting to pieces I suppose. The fruit machine armoury was woefully inadequate, best to be had was a Cock a doodle doo which was full after a tenner and £4 happy from the off. It did a flat £25 Mega so I reforced after the signs were still there and it spilled the full £75 yum yum.
The second day we decided to head up the coast into Prestatyn and Rhyl. Prestatyn had nothing but wall to wall caravan parks. We found one entertainment complex on the seafront with an arcade. There was a Golden Game which had the new sounds, so I was a bit wary, rightly so as it was being a bugger with the hold after nudge. A bit of luck saw a £30 profit. At the same time a woman was ploughing coins into a full Partytime, I went and played an old Maygay Pink Panther, the chase one for old times sake whilst Marie played King Kebab £5 which she has a soft spot for, her play method is thus: put money in....get into feature after first winning cash gamble......play at all costs for cash knockouts......take anything off this. Ahh. bless.
By the time she had finished and we were walking out, I noticed the woman had gone so I tried a quid and the Partytime was still full. Why the fuck I play these I don't know, anyway £35 later it goes up for £2 woohoo.
45 minutes of pissing around later we bail with a loss of £30 after a couple of Jackpots. I ask Marie never to let me play these again.
Drive down the road into Rhyl. This is more like it, proper wall to wall arcades on the seafront. They have a Mr B's, I'm sure there is one of them in Yarmouth ? Anyway, Marie goes into town to shop, I have that lovely experience where you can wander in and out of numerous arcades just playing what takes your fancy. I started well, playing an Italian Job 2 which is turbo cashing up to a fiver off the first feature. I will now state for the record that I have never ever had one of these streak, ever. Royal Roulette, yep but never a IJ2 or a Dambuster...UNTIL NOW...at last the JP goes and I'm straight back in to be greeted with a superfeature. I tried the winning streak theory off the top question mark as it offered it me, that gave £15. Next feature IM again but auto collects the £25 cash square, next feature IM and I get top question mark again and get another £15 winning streak. That's the end of the IM's and I can't decide if I'm any better off by doing things that way.
Another arcade had a £35 50p play Magic Poker but was dead in its arse, and a 3 player Monopoly GG which didn't feature but I landed 2 JP's out of 2 units.
Final arcade I had a couple of quick wins of a Magic 10 then madness took over and I played the dreaded S16's again. Elvis was dead, it's official, that is until I came off it and some woman went on and got 2 cashpots, silver for £160 and bronze for £90 in the next 5 minutes. Yes I know you could argue that I'd never have had them anyway, but just for the record...BASTARD.
I proceeded to cane £180 smoothies on a Rainbow Riches which did nothing.
Some guy was caning the Red Arrow in the corner, I'd have liked to have played it for old times sake, but it was obvious he knew what he was doing, I just fancied seeing if I could still nail Wild Thing, but it's been that long I can't even remember the numbering signs anymore.
Set off for home early next day, sat nav well and truely turned off and mapbook out. Decided to come home via Birmingham and have a look round there as my uni days were spent there and I wanted to know if the same players were still in the Nobles on New Street after 15 years. That all went tits up as I missed the Birmingham Central junction so hooked upto the M42 to come back round via the N.E.C and promptly got a flat tyre. Changed that and took the motor into Kwik Fit to get the puncture repaired, that kind of wrote off the rest of the afternoon.
There you go, hope your eyes aren't bleeding too much.

[Zorro Jnr]

Nice to see another classics kid post!!

Its been a while since i spend a penny, all is crap and just nothing going on!!!

[DannyC]

Christ oh mighty Mike, I thought I was bad.

Nice read though!

One thing, how do you remember all this stuff? I leave one pub... and its all gone, which is why I rarely post these kind of posts anymore o; Good to see the old welsh top still has glad rag machines though

[kidgloves]

Christ oh mighty Mike, I thought I was bad.

Nice read though!

One thing, how do you remember all this stuff? I leave one pub... and its all gone, which is why I rarely post these kind of posts anymore o; Good to see the old welsh top still has glad rag machines though

It's a funny thing really, I have a really bad memory on the whole for short term things, but machines and experiences on them has never been a problem. I could even recite you the exact layout of machines in arcades all over the place and from as long as 10 years ago !

[Wuddle]

I can confess to being the same.... can remember various layouts of machines in various places...

And i know it sounds sad and addicty, but like you, there really is nothing that beats that feeling when it's really nice and sunny, and you have about 10 arcades in front of you that you can waltz in and out of as so you please.

You should come up to the whitby/scarborough/redcar area mate.. plenty of stuff to keep you busy for a weekend .

Regards.

[kidgloves]

I can confess to being the same.... can remember various layouts of machines in various places...

And i know it sounds sad and addicty, but like you, there really is nothing that beats that feeling when it's really nice and sunny, and you have about 10 arcades in front of you that you can waltz in and out of as so you please.

You should come up to the whitby/scarborough/redcar area mate.. plenty of stuff to keep you busy for a weekend .

Regards.

Hmm, might just do that on the next holiday. We are getting bored of always heading off to Norfolk, Yarmouth etc. Also fancy a trip down Southend and round about, also Whitley Bay.

[Choptastic]

Nice story there kid, doesn't sound like the overall financial result was too wonderful though.

That's the problem with S16s, you can spend all day carefully cultivating a decent profit on AWPs, only to see the whole lot burned by an S16 in about 18.34 seconds.

Also, sign me up for the "photographic memory of fruit machine history" thingy as well. Even now, when an old machine is released for the emulator, I'm able to effortlessly recount tales in microscopic detail of how I was playing the machine fifteen years ago, and probably in which pub as well

[Zorro Jnr]

18.34 seconds.

Was that some carefully calculated number, a personal experience or just something random??

[Choptastic]

Was that some carefully calculated number, a personal experience or just something random??

It just seemed to scan nicely on the page

I've got very little personal experience with S16s, it's just that I've heard loads of horror stories.....

[Slotterman]

Some guy was caning the Red Arrow in the corner, I'd have liked to have played it for old times sake, but it was obvious he knew what he was doing, I just fancied seeing if I could still nail Wild Thing, but it's been that long I can't even remember the numbering signs anymore.

Chances are it was one of those late chips that permanently number.

I don't think I've seen a Red Arrow for a couple of years at least.

If they were still making machines like that...I'd still be playing them..