"The Citrus Report" Virgin Poker Festival - Newcastle

[CitrusSR]

Ok, my brain seems to have recovered from the weekend now so thought I’d do a trip report aswell:


It didn’t start off too well for me because instead of getting my stuff ready, planning the route, etc on Thurs night I went for a couple of pints which predictably turned in to lots of pints and I ended up going to bed late with a coin down my throat!!

Anyway….all that meant that we didn’t leave till about 2pm! I didn’t think my 15 year old escort (I’m on about a car you sicko!!) would make it all the way up there so hired a nice new one for the journey. Because of traffic it took us six hours in total, really boring (having a hangover didn’t help either) but I kept myself focused by setting targets of where we would stop for our first break, eventually deciding that we were nearly there so didn’t bother stopping! Endurance driving FTW

Grabbed something to eat at the hotel, had a few beers and headed off to the casino to meet Walty. By this time it was about 10pm and I found him at the poker table with a monster chip stack (Walton towers) being a mouthy f*cker!! The card room manager asked us to watch from further away (not sure if this was the rule or they didn’t want to encourage him anymore lol) so we left and headed for a few bars. There was quite a few to choose from and in one we got talking to a couple of Geordie blokes, I say talking but I don’t think either of us could actually understand a word the other said and I’d forgotten my Geordie phrase book!! After a few we were quite drunk/tired so dropped into see how Drunkypies was doing - “STEAM ROLLER BABY!” and left him and his chiplead for an early-ish night at about 1-2ish.

The next day we met Walty & Co at the casino and had a few pints (to beat the hangover) before the main event started. 3pm was the kick off and off we went, 227 runners, 40 min blinds, 10,000 starting stack, a prize pool of £28,000 and with bounties on several players such as Lucy Rokach and Maria Demetriou, who was seated at the other end of my table. Not bad for 15 euros! It started slowly for me, probably due to the fact that I’ve been 3-4 tabling turbo sit n gos online and going to this pace just seemed slooooow. Anyway, playing my normal tight way I basically folded through the first two levels, raising with A-K and K-K taking the blinds and once limping with 2-2 and flopping a full house in a 3 way pot which got checked round on the flop. 1st player bet out 295 on the turn, 2nd called, I raised to 900 and they both folded. I also lost about 1k in chips raising with A-Q and cont-betting on a 2-3-5 flop and J turn before getting raised and letting it go. Stole a blind here and there and it was a bit like this for the first 5 levels up until the dinner break and I never really went below or above 9k-11k. Then the hand before dinner there was an EP raise to 1500 (blinds 200/400) and I flat called from the SB with QQ. Flop was J-x-x (two low cards), I decided to check raise - check, he bet out 2k and I raised to 7k, he went all in, I stupidly asked for a count before realising I only had about 3k left and called. He had A-J, the ladies held and I was up to just over 20k.

I’d been averaging a pint per break but had a red bull aswell at dinner ‘cos I was getting tired, along with a chicken korma that possibly wasn’t nice but I hadn’t eaten all day so it went down nicely! I made the decision to try and loosen up a bit now with my stack and after how tight I had played so far, thought I could start accumulating chips. So we were back in the game (blinds 300/600 25 ante) and not long after the re-start I raised to 1800 in MP with 8-8 which was re-raised to 3000. I called and saw a J high flop which I check-folded. Didn’t get anything playable for a while until I pick up A-Q in the small blind, player in the cut off that had raised the previous two hands raised again to 2000, I re-raised to 7000 and after a long think he pushed all in. I asked how much more it was and his expression when I did convinced me to call, though that was irrelevant anyway as it was only just under 5000 more to call anyway! I was surprised to see 3-3 but not so surprised to see a 3 on the flop along with (I think) two 7’s. Doh!! Down to about 6k. Walty came up behind me with some words of wisdom along the lines of “I know you tilt bad, don’t fucking tilt!” Which made me lol and I focussed on not tilting!

A few hands later in MP with an early limper and a caller before me I look down at 7-8 diamonds and get ready to shove all in. But then I think “Am I going to do this ‘cos I’m on tilt?!” “There hasn’t been much limping on this table, why is he limping from there? He wants me to go all in!!...Or does he?!” I’ve still got 10bb’s I think, I’ll wait for a better spot, any one of them could wake up with a hand and I’ll be annoyed at myself going out like that. The 7-8-7 flop made me realise it just wasn’t going to be my day.

The blinds pass through me without any chance to push and I’m down to under 5k when I get dealt QQ, with a raise to 2k before me there’s no argument that I shouldn’t shove (Or is there?! RevStu??), he says “the worst call ever” and turns over A9 suited, obvious A on the flop and it’s goodnight from me!! Finished about 150-160th. He had to call that so it didn’t bother me much, though the AQ hand did a bit as I thought he could have got away from it pre flop, though I guess he thought he had more chips than that when he shoved as he seemed like a decent enough player.

Was gone 9pm by this time so there was only one place to go from there - the bar!! Where lots more beer was consumed and far too many double vodkas, many messed up conversations were had including such gems as “strategy” in my search for the coin, that I won’t go into! (Plastics bags over hands FTW)

Later on we decided to play a drunken £15 (I think) sit n go. 4 of us on the same table and we were basically being drunken idiots as we were so wrecked! 2 or 3 hands in and Walty raises about 5bb UTG, 1 caller, I look down at QQ, shove and they both call with 33 and 77, as mentioned before a 3 came down for Luckypies and I’m back off to the bar! Hahaha!

Whilst waiting for them to bust out I played a heads up game, it was Virgin v “The Rest of The World” and was on a big screen for people to watch, £5 in, if you won you got the money, if you lost it went to charity. I can’t really remember much but it didn’t last long, I have vague memories of sniggering to myself after hearing mutterings behind me about my play as I re-re-raised with J-4 off then bet out on the flop I completely missed. Needless to say I lost! GG charity, you bastards.

Back to the sit n go, my g/f bubbled in her 3rd ever live game (the previous two were drunken ones at the Xmas do!) and Walty came 3rd. We left the casino and went to a club for some silly drunken antics which are mostly just a hazy memory!!


So I awake on Sunday morning with a triple hangover, not feeling too good at all. I get a text from Walty to see if I’m playing today and I get him to register for me, giving me a bit more recovery time. I get to the casino not long before the tourney starts and we’re all a bit quiet and croaky, I feel like “poo” so do what any sane person would do and drink a couple of pints to take the edge off the hangover! There was a copy of the Newcastle Sunday Sun with a photo of my table from the previous day and we laughed at how bored and fed up I looked (live poker…slooooowww ) On to the poker and it’s a £30+3 buy-in with a bounty of £10 on the head of every player “Terminator Freezeout”. I’ve got red eyes but that’s the only similarity, I’m in no state to do any terminating as we get underway and a badly played A-K in the first hand makes me wonder why I’m not still in bed. EP raises to 150, 1 caller, I flat call, re-raise to 800, original raiser calls, fold and then I briefly consider shoving before folding aswell. Re-raiser had QQ on a q high flop so at least I saved some chips I suppose. My brain really wasn’t working and I made several silly mistakes such as folding out of turn, folding to an all in of 400 when I had 100 in the SB (luckily I wouldn’t have won the bounty), daydreaming while the action was on me and everyone was waiting for me…basically being an idiot!! The beer hadn’t worked and I just sat there hardly talking to anyone and feeling bad, being card dead didn’t help and I was short-stacked in shove mode for ages till I finally bust out in 42nd out of about 150 people, though I did take a £10 bounty when I called a shorties all in on my BB without looking and I had A-J, the best hand I got dealt apart from the 1st hand A-K.

Walty was the last in out of our group I nicknamed “Team Gash” and I left him there and went to get some food which I spilt all down my top so decided to call it a day, get an early night ready for the drive home the next day.

The drive home only took 4 and a half hours (with no break of course) and was incident free except for one point where I was doing 90mph down the fast lane as the motorway split and I realised I needed to go the other way, I saw a gap in the traffic and did an awesome “5 lane switchover”! It wasn’t as dangerous as it sounds!! Probably.

All in all a good weekend away and I will be trying to qualify again for the next one which I think is planned for the summer.

Interesting facts:

During the festival, Aspers casino broke their record for bar receipts in a weekend.
Lucy Rokach finished in 8th place in the main event.
They sell two months out of date Maltesers in newsagents in Newcastle.
10 and half hours driving = only one argument with my g/f. That must be some sort of record?!
Waltypies cannot be persuaded to swallow coins, even when he is hammered.

Things I forgot to do in Newcastle:

Gamble my £10 worth of free casino chips.
Say “gash” when I got knocked out the tournament.
The rolex sweep.
Spend a penny.

[CitrusSR]

Copy of the Newcastle Sunday Sun -



I am possibly awake, but who knows?!

Any feedback on the hands welcome, or on the report as its the longest thing I've written in years hahaha

[Dice Man]

I didn’t think my 15 year old escort

Man I need to get one of these just so I can make this joke forever.

[Dice Man]

OMG sheep rescued and newts saved. It's all happening in Newcastle.

[waltypies]

LOL i forgot about the Steam roller phrase. Everytime i said that people looked at me like WTF is he talking about.

Walton towers FTW

[CitrusSR]

Man I need to get one of these just so I can make this joke forever.

Haha If you ever want it for the night I will pimp it out to you!!

As for the sheep rescue, it says that was in Cumbria! Is that not the North West?! Presumably it was such big news that it travelled right across the North!