Newcastle Trip Report. Virgin Poker Festival . The waltypies view

[waltypies]

Well what a weekend of poker and drunken antics!



Starts off Friday afternoon at 1pm where i get my lift from one of the players who i qualified for and had ever bit of faith that she would do well in the main event. The journey from Cheltenham to Newcastle is a little ghey when you get caught up in traffic all the time and the one passenger snores like a trooper in the car!!



Anyway after just under 5 hours as we stopped we arrive at the hotel. Now there were 3 of us but there was meant to be 4 but one donkey dropped out. The booking form for the hotel said family room which sleeps 4 so happy days. However the receptionist said only 2 adults for insurance purposes. Good thing was that i blagged it saying i would stay elsewhere and did not! LOL



Anyway the plan of action for the 1st day was to pop to the casino to avoid the massive rush in registering on the Saturday and maybe play the Friday game. So we got there and registered for the £20 freezeout. This got 216 runners!! 3k stack and 30 min blind levels dropping to 25mins after the 1st break. With a hour to go before the game the best idea for us 3 travelling degenerate gamblers was to do what we do best and drink beer. Signing up to the casino got us £5 which we used for drink.

Now the poker starts and we share 10% in each other and the fun begins. I had a table of no one i knew so i did what i do best and was to be loud and spew chips everywhere!! some of the players were terrible and with a 3k stack one mistake from them and they were gone.



Anyway we lost our dealer after a few hands and it being self deal i took it upon myself to deal as i can deal fast and i like fast games. One of the best decisions of my life that as 1st hand i deal i give myself AA!! I cant remember the board as the drink was settling in but i know i took a player out. Next hand i get KK and knock someone out as i hit quads on the flop! 3rd hand i deal i get AA one more time weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Board K,4,9 i push and the player calls with AK. Ship me more chips!!

So the 1st comes and i look around for the two other players and they are all short on chips i am on 15k. We get more beers and more and more etc etc. My 2 friends get knocked out pretty early so they go out to the pubs and the plan was to meet them out later on. I get back to the tables drink more and let the fun begin with raising every short stack with anything. So people were getting knocked out against me with my 10,6 against Ak etc etc. You can guess the rest.



So 13 beers later i am on the final table!! At this stage i have pissed off nearly everyone in the casino including the cardroom manager who i think was about to kick me out at one stage. I also could not see my cards which was not a problem as i was tending to stick chips in for fun at his stage. Cut a long story short i finish 5th for £300 after turning up to the FT with the chip lead!! LOL 150,000 gone to nothing! Oh well that be teh pokahs.



Luckly for me my friends had come back to watch the final table and we were all together. Now at this stage it was gone 2:20am and we did not know where to go. However the one girl i was with had planned to go to a strip club before she was 30. Now as she was twenty something (like what i did there) there was not much time for it so we jumped into a taxi and popped to the strip club called 'For your eyes only'.



WOW is all i can say when i got there. Plenty of lovely womens for walty to spunk his cash on. The call of the day was to get the beers in. 3 bottles of beer for £17!! I think i got stung!! So my one mate wanted a dance and i found a great girl for him and got him a dance. While he was gone i was speaking to my other friend who said that she wanted one now and gave me a description of what she wanted 'blonde hair and big boobs'! Now in my head thats what i wanted as well. But dont we all! After a few girls walking past i see one and point out and shout 'That one' To which the reply was yes. Another £20 later and i am sitting on my own! I view the show and the 1st guy comes back with the biggest grin on his face



Couple of beers later the girl comes back saying did i want to go in with her while i watched her with another woman? Now to say i said yes in an insta second would be an understatement. I was in that booth in a shot. Now me being me i ask for 2 girls on 1 girl with me watching! Oh boys and girls that was the best £80 i have ever spent in my live! LOL The thoughts in my head are not safe for work and it made the taxi ride home very uncomfortable!! LOL permanentwoodaments



Next day started at 12pm with a very sore head from retiring to bed at 6am so my pick of the day was not in the best frame of mind! However whats the perfect cure for that? A fry up and more beer! So off we go to the casino again.

This time while we are chowing down we meet up with Citrus and his lady. Who did not look at bad as us but was on the pop as well! Infact we even saw them Friday! I have only just remembered that! Ooops Flashbacks!!!



Now the main event started a little late and there were some exits very early on in the game with alot of AA vs KK where the aces held up all the time. I kept checking on my pick who was up and down a bit. Citrus had been the same but they will both agree i think that it did not start off too well. Oh well the break ended and they were back in high spirts and both won big pots so were happy.



My pick of the day busted in the 400/800 level where she made what i thought was a valid play as the other guy had enough to pass and he even thought he was behind when he put the chips in. However sometimes the plays dont work against donks and she was out. However its all a learning curve and i am sure the next one will be promising!



Citrus busted out before her so we were all together to drink and play some drunken STI's!! I cant believe i did not play any cash games for some reason! I knocked 2 people out in my STI with pocket 3s in the second hand of the day. QQ vs 77 vs 33. I hit my 3 on the turn!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Still only come 3rd though! LOL



Again the rest of the evening was a blurr as i had far too many redbull and vodkas. But i know i won 2 heads up games and £100 on roulette from £10 so that was my drink paid for. Now are one friend had deserted us as he wanted to find a dirty Newcastle lass. Now from what i saw that was not going to difficult as there are plenty around!



So the merry band was Citrus, his ladyfriend, myself and my mate. We just had plenty more drunken antics which involve forward rolls on the dancefloor and me being so drunk i cant say the name of the hotel in the taxi as i am slurring my words and i say Tudor Pin instead of Tulip Inn!! Oh god why does drink make me do stupid things! Anyway there are plenty of pictures which i will post on facebook so the people who know me on there will be able to see. You others may get me posting them on there but they are pretty bad!!



Sunday was pretty chilled and we all played the £30 Terminator game which £10 from every £30 was put on as a bounty. I won £60 from that and came 20th i think. I was doing really well but made a silly play against someone with 9s and i had to fold only for him to have 10s. It was the right fold obv but i was steaming so i tilted and donked out

I did not see much of the main event but i hear the guy who won it qualified through a live freeroll at the casino so he must have been pleased.



So lessons learnt this weekend..........



Drunken poker = ++++++++++++++++++++EV



Strip Clubs = ----------------------EV



Elvis is a donkey who will try and make any woman famous (yeah right)!!



Newcastle is actually a pretty cool place.



The forward roll is now the best move on the dancefloor! Watch out for it to be the next dance craze!

[waltypies]

Nice TR, I agree, Newcastle is actually a really cool place. I went there last June and really enjoyed myself.

LOL @ the strip club and "lol permawoodaments"

In spearmint rhinos I got 2 women to eat each other out for £40, beat that walty!

Thats what the 2 i got were doing. It cost £40 as well but i made them do it twice hence the £80 price tag! They were getting the other girl i was with to bite there boobies!!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[CitrusSR]

Tudor pin haha I forgot about that, dont think that taxi driver liked us...

Good report, I might type one tomorrow if I can be bothered!!

[Dice Man]

Did nobody question whether you were rigging the deck when you dealt for the table?

[piquetb]

so faced with three of a kind you got a flush and a straight and then beat yourself with your own hand ?

[waltypies]

Did nobody question whether you were rigging the deck when you dealt for the table?

Everyone thought i was being a bit dodgy as if i was not getting big hands others were getting really badly cold decked! Lets just say i was action dealing! Within 15 hands 6 players were knocked out! LOL

[waltypies]

so faced with three of a kind you got a flush and a straight and then beat yourself with your own hand ?

There was no beating with my own hand lol

[S6TAV]

lol great write up

How the hell did you consume so much alcahol. I would have been on the beer scooter magical mystery tour way before any of that.

This has also reminded me of Spearmint rhino charging £8 to withdraw money from their cash machine Noice!!!!

[waltypies]

lol great write up

How the hell did you consume so much alcahol. I would have been on the beer scooter magical mystery tour way before any of that.

This has also reminded me of Spearmint rhino charging £8 to withdraw money from their cash machine Noice!!!!

Dude if you see the pictures i really dont know how we consumed so much drink! LOL

[Gaz Walker]

Funny stuff, great write up