**Offical I suck at poker thread**

[PokerWoody]

I suck a poker harder than paris hilton sucks cok

My graph for this month...


Can anyone suck at poker more than me??? I dare you to try....

[PokerWoody]

This ones a classic....

Seat 1: BTN ($449.92 in chips)
Seat 2: OASISPRO sits out
Seat 4: SB ($249.25 in chips)
Seat 5: Woody ($418 in chips)
Seat 6: UTG ($94 in chips)
SB: posts small blind $1
Woody: posts big blind $2
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Woody [7 4]
UTG: raises to $4
BTN: calls $4
SB: folds
Woody: calls $2
----- FLOP ----- [6 5 9]
Woody: checks
UTG: checks
BTN: bets $5
Woody: calls $5
UTG: folds
----- TURN ----- [6 5 9]J]
Woody: checks
BTN: bets $8
Woody: raises to $42
BTN: calls $34
----- RIVER ----- [6 5 9 J][3]
Woody: bets $99
BTN: raises to $250
Woody: raises to $367 and is all-in
joker2 joins the table at seat #3
BTN: calls $117
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Woody: shows [7s 4s] (A Straight, Seven high)
BTN: shows [8h 7h] (A Straight, Nine high)
BTN collects $839 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot $841 Main pot $839 Rake $2
Board [6c 5s 9h Js 3c]
Seat 1: BTN (button) showed [8 7] and won ($839) with A Straight, Nine high
Seat 4: SB (small blind) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Woody (big blind) showed [7 4] and lost
Seat 6: UTG folded on the Flop
****HAND ENDS****

Lesson from this hand...don't play poker when you have just come back from 3 days of hard drinking and no sleeping.

I mean, what is that turn check raise all about??? Can't I count to 9??? What a friggin retard!!!!

[trustme]

I am so proud of this play

This table is tight except for one player, naja, overbets most hands and is getting away with it, the whole table is trying to trap him because you know you will get paid off, unfortunately I decide not to fold my hand preflop and then on the river get what looks like a lucky card and decide to call the all in from the rock at the table.

Hand #401068061 at table: Table TH 497
Started: Fri Aug 25 02:19:21 2006

trust_me is at seat 1 with 61.62
naja71 is at seat 2 with 68.95
chavezzzzz is at seat 3 with 53.72
i-go-allin is at seat 4 with 23.28
Cannigia is at seat 5 with 43.53

naja71 posts the large blind 0.50
trust_me posts the small blind 0.25

trust_me: 4h, 6d
naja71: --, --
chavezzzzz: --, --
i-go-allin: --, --
Cannigia: --, --

Pre-flop:

chavezzzzz: Raise 1.50
i-go-allin: Call 1.50
Cannigia: Fold
trust_me: Call 1.50
naja71: Call 1.50

Flop (Board: 5s, 6s, 3c):

trust_me: Check
naja71: Check
chavezzzzz: Bet 2.00
i-go-allin: Call 2.00
trust_me: Call 2.00
naja71: Call 2.00

Turn (Board: 5s, 6s, 3c, Js):

trust_me: Check
naja71: Check
chavezzzzz: Check
i-go-allin: Check

River (Board: 5s, 6s, 3c, Js, 2d):

trust_me: Check
naja71: Bet 7.00
chavezzzzz: Fold
i-go-allin: All in
trust_me: Call 19.78
naja71: Fold

Showdown:

i-go-allin shows: 8s, Qs (flush to the Queen)

[trustme]

Heres how to get the perfect flop and milk it , then get really gutted at what happens and not bother betting big on the river to try and take it down

Hand #399152727 at table: Table TH 657
Started: Tue Aug 22 14:41:27 2006

trust_me is at seat 1 with 106.45
KKAAKK1 is at seat 2 with 51.30
borsuka is at seat 3 with 89.60
potxxc is at seat 4 with 35.30
RRS is at seat 5 with 96.70

trust_me posts the large blind 1.00
potxxc posts the small blind 0.50

potxxc: --, --
trust_me: 7s, 6h
KKAAKK1: --, --
borsuka: --, --

Pre-flop:

KKAAKK1: Fold
borsuka: Raise 4.00
potxxc: Fold
trust_me: Call 4.00

Flop (Board: 4s, 8h, 5s):

trust_me: Check
borsuka: Bet 5.00
trust_me: Call 5.00

Turn (Board: 4s, 8h, 5s, 6s):

trust_me: Check
borsuka: Bet 10.00
trust_me: Raise 20.00
borsuka: Call 20.00

River (Board: 4s, 8h, 5s, 6s, 7h):

trust_me: Check
borsuka: Check

Showdown:

trust_me shows: 7s, 6h (straight to the Eight)
borsuka shows: Jh, Js (straight to the Eight)

Mainpot:
Splitpot of 27.80 straight to the Eight

[trustme]

Must have played with this guy before, he really doesnt respect my raises. This thread is fun

Hand #399196147 at table: Table TH 251
Started: Tue Aug 22 15:50:32 2006

trust_me is at seat 1 with 92.00
jhpanther is at seat 2 with 142.94
JOHN 11 is at seat 3 with 24.60
joseke2006 is at seat 4 with 95.85

JOHN 11 posts the large blind 1.00
jhpanther posts the small blind 0.50

jhpanther: --, --
JOHN 11: --, --
joseke2006: --, --
trust_me: 10h, 7h

Pre-flop:

joseke2006: Fold
trust_me: Raise 2.00
jhpanther: Fold
JOHN 11: Call 2.00

Flop (Board: 4h, Jd, Kh):

JOHN 11: Check
trust_me: Bet 3.00
JOHN 11: Call 3.00

Turn (Board: 4h, Jd, Kh, 2d):

JOHN 11: Check
trust_me: Check

River (Board: 4h, Jd, Kh, 2d, 5c):

JOHN 11: Check
trust_me: Bet 6.00
JOHN 11: Call 6.00

Showdown:

trust_me shows: 10h, 7h (high card, King)
JOHN 11 shows: Qc, 6c (high card, King)

Mainpot:
JOHN 11 wins the pot of 21.40 with high card, King, Queen kicker.

[Matty H]

I've always been shit at poker. Welcome to my world

[DonkBox]

variance is a bitch!

[Wuddle]

Where can ya get one of those cool trackers from???

I've sure it's been mentioned before but i can't be bothered to search .

Cheers

[CitrusSR]

Here's a nice hand from me...


------HAND 5------
Game #3218193344: Hold'em NL ($0.25/$0.50) - 2006/08/27 - 01:10:04 (UK)
Table "novemberfifth" Seat 1 is the button.
Seat 1: Citrussr ($20.87 in chips)
Seat 2: cranberry ($21.80 in chips)
Citrussr: posts small blind $0.25
cranberry: posts big blind $0.50
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Citrussr [Kh Ac]
Citrussr: calls $0.25
cranberry: checks
----- FLOP ----- [7s 9h 9c]
cranberry: bets $0.50
Citrussr: raises to $1
cranberry: calls $0.50
----- TURN ----- [7s 9h 9c][9s]
cranberry: checks
Citrussr: bets $0.50
cranberry: calls $0.50
----- RIVER ----- [7s 9h 9c 9s][7c]
cranberry: bets $19.80 and is all-in
Citrussr: is all-in $18.87
Returned uncalled bets $0.93 to cranberry
----- SHOW DOWN -----
cranberry: shows [As Ah] (A Full House, Nines full of Aces)
Citrussr: shows [Kh Ac] (A Full House, Nines full of Sevens)
cranberry collects $40.74 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot $41.74 Main pot $40.74 Rake $1
Board [7s 9h 9c 9s 7c]
Seat 1: Citrussr (small blind) showed [Kh Ac] and lost
Seat 2: cranberry (big blind) showed [As Ah] and won ($40.74) with A Full House, Nines full of Aces

[WeirdWayne]

I've always been shit at poker. Welcome to my world

I always thought I was too, till I met some of u lot

Its good to c some HH's where people have messed up rather than bragging or bad beat HH's. That was an expensive mis-read of the board Woody with your opponent flopping the straight. Im sure your back on track now tho.

Must have played with this guy before, he really doesnt respect my raises.

lol, maybe so but cant understand his reasoning here. After your PF raise and then the bet after the flop (at least u ad the flush draw) he should have put you ahead with the junk he had. At the same time tho, u shouldnt have checked the turn and bet on the river (stating the obvious I know). If he thought u were stealing his BB and raised you earlier in the hand then fair enough, but cant believe he was prepared to call u with just Q high in his hand (esp as he was so short stacked).