Today's Guardian.....

[Wakou]

From the Sport section, under "Made up statitics that should be true"

13 = The number of England rugby league players who said "After you, Claude" and "No, after you Cecil" whenever the Australian Greg Inglis ran at them during yesterday's trouncing.

[Wakou]

and .........
91 = Number of managers tearing up their coaching licences since hearing that Harry Rednapp's advice to sub Ramon Pavlyuchenko before sending him on vs Liverpool was:

"Just fucking run about"