50 degrees Fahrenheit (10 C): Londoners shiver uncontrollably.
Scotsmen plant gardens.
35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C): Italian cars won't start.
Scotsmen drive with the windows down.
32 Fahrenheit (0 C): English water freezes.
Scotish water gets thicker.
0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C): london landlords finally turn on the heat.
Scotsmen have the last barbecue of the season.
-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C): Mt. St. Helens freezes.
Scotish Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.
-100 Fahrenheit (-73 C): Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Scotsmen pull down their ear flaps.
-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C) Ethyl alcohol Freezes.
Scotsmen get frustrated when they can't thaw the beer barrel.
-460 Fahrenheit (-273 C) Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Scotsmen start saying "cold, eh?"
-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C): Hell freezes over.
Scotland qualify for the second round of a football tournament !
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